The ultimate guide to getting engaged : The Bridal File Blog

The ultimate guide to getting engaged

2352 Days Ago

Jenny

You’ve found the one! They're your best friend, your soul mate, and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your lives together. Now how are you going to pull this off?

Follow our ultimate guide to getting engaged. We cover everything from buying the engagement ring through to the proposal itself.

Don't leave anything to chance!

Wedding proposals have such high demands these days. There is so much to prepare and so much that can possibly go wrong. From choosing the ideal location, getting a photographer to capture that life changing moment and choosing the perfect ring for the love of your life. A wedding proposal is just as much work as the wedding itself.

So take a deep breath and relax. Let’s take this step-by-step and begin the journey towards your perfect wedding proposal.

Getting the parents' blessing

This may seem a little old fashioned and is not necessary in all cases, but it is an important sign of respect to include their parents.

Ask yourself: is this something that would be important to your loved one and their family? How close are they with their parents? How close are you with their parents? Are they traditional or more modern thinking?

Ultimately, what would your future spouse want?

The engagement ring

Though it pales in comparison to finding 'The One', finding the right engagement ring is no simple task.

Knowing how to buy an engagement ring is a science in itself.

From stones to settings, it can quickly get complicated, overwhelming - and expensive. Worst of all, it’s easy to get duped if you don’t know what you’re doing.

How much are British men spending on engagement rings these days?

Don’t be fooled by the two month salary guideline.

It’s a myth.

Couples in the UK are spending almost a fifth less (19%) on engagement rings as they did five to 10 years ago.

Londoners spent the most on their wedding rings over the last decade (£2,778), while Northern Irish men shelled out the most on their engagement rings (£1,722). Scottish men, meanwhile, were the most prudent, spending an average of just £563 and £862 on their wedding and engagement rings.

The average spend in the UK on an engagement ring over the past five years stands at £1,080 compared to £1,333 spent up to 10 years ago, Refinery 29 reports.

Engagement ring calculator

Now that you have an idea what guys are spending on their ladies' rings let’s see what sort of budget you should be working towards to get one for your lady.

Check out the engagement ring calculator which helps you to assess your individual situation and start your ring-buying journey on the right finger… sorry foot.

How to find out your partners' engagement ring size without them knowing?

Done with the budgeting, ready to go out and look for an engagement ring… But wait!

Don’t know her ring size?

Oops!

If you’re wondering how to find out your partner’s engagement ring size without her knowing, you’re not alone.

To help all you soon-to-be proposers find a sneaky way to get the size just right check out the article by How He Asked.

This one is our favourite:

“Pull a really stealth move and size her finger while she sleeps”

If you have a deep sleeper on your hands, this can be an awesome way to figure out your partner’s ring size. It can also make for a hilarious story down the road.

While your partner is in Sleeping Beauty mode, take a simple string, fishing line, or piece of paper and wrap it around their second finger on their left on their left hand.

It could take a couple of nights to get it right, but you’re in the clear as long as they don’t wake up.

Buying the engagement ring

After planning the budget to spend on your sweetheart’s engagement ring and learning about her ring size, you need to decide where to get the engagement ring from.

It might take a lot of time before you come across the perfect piece that fits your budget requirements and is a marvel when worn by your love.

Proposers are spending an average of 3.5 months looking for a ring and they go through about 26 before finding the right one!

So make sure you give yourself plenty of time.

These days spouses-to-be are increasingly digitally dependent as they go about tying the knot.

The majority of grooms continue to purchase rings at retailers (86 per cent) with nearly half (45 per cent) heading to a local or independent jeweller for the purchase. But more and more of them are buying rings online.

Buying an engagement ring shouldn’t be a stressful occasion but rather an unforgettable and beautiful one.

Rachel Cruz’s Tips for buying an engagement ring ensures a flawless journey through budgeting, organising, and scheduling your process from the beginning. Her easy-to-follow steps make your future purchase a wise investment as well as a fun adventure.

Engagement ring trends

As we close out the year and proposals are on the horizon, let’s take a look at the emerging engagement ring trends and styles that will rule 2018.

We reached out to Rebecca Doherty of Quality Diamonds, a private jeweller with an incredible team of skilled designers, to find out the most popular engagement rings now.

Rebecca gave us the low-down on the best-selling pieces and emerging engagement ring styles that are having a moment.

Rose gold engagement rings are becoming more popular as are pear shape styles but it seems that there’s a new take on the traditional style set to take over for 2018.

Although you may have heard of the oval shape diamond before, you may not have seen the 'sideways oval' a gorgeously different take on the traditional oval. The 'hanita’ at Quality Diamonds is a very popular choice in white.

Sideways oval engagement ring

As we know Kate Middleton's engagement ring is a stunning blue sapphire and rumours suggest that Prince Harry will choose a coloured stone to propose to his partner, Meghan Markle.

There have been reports that Harry may pick an emerald and although this is all conjecture for now, it wouldn't surprise us if we were to see a lot more of this type of gem next year.

Aside from sapphires, which are currently the most popular choice for this type of ring and emeralds, pink sapphire stones are also having a moment.

Pink sapphire engagement ring

It’s time for the proposal

Once you have chosen perfect ring for your beloved, it’s time to plan the perfect proposal.

The average proposer spends 4.4 months planning it, with seven per cent of respondents saying it took a year or longer to get it right. Maybe it’s a man thing but it really shouldn’t take that long!

In the age of viral wedding proposals, it may not be surprising that the study shows a shift away from private proposals, with 45 per cent of them happening at a public location. On top of that, photographers and videographers are capturing 47 per cent of proposals.

There's a noticeable shift online for planning, photography and the ring itself but the time-honoured traditions still prove popular for the actual proposal.

Let’s go through the perfect proposal checklist one by one.

The wedding proposal location

Here are the top few wedding proposal locations to choose in the UK for all you fellas looking forward to get down on one knee in front of your lady love.

It’s a bit chilly in Blighty in the winter so wrap up warm.

There are more than enough romantic settings to get the job done. Visit the Proposers and pick a place for your dream wedding proposal.

Proposals in Paris

For that extra special ‘traditional’ proposal check out Timothy Tate the classical guitarist in Paris the city of love and lights. As a long term Paris resident, in addition to providing the perfect soundtrack, Timothy will advise on the best romantic secluded spots in the city. He offers a chilled half bottle of Champagne and glasses to be at the ready and a photographer/ videographer can be called in to surreptitiously document your special moment if you request it.

Timothy Tate classical guitarist

Find the perfect singer or band for your wedding proposal

Going by today’s trends, live music is one of the essentials for the wedding proposals these days as they can truly bring a ‘wow factor’ to the moment.

To make your work a little easier we spoke to Alive Network for some quick tips on how to find and hire the perfect artist for your spine-tingling, goosebump-inducing proposal.

Owen H – Alive Network

Budget: Set a budget before you start your search for the right band, singers, or musicians. Also, take into account the several factors which may affect your budget, such as your location, the artist’s location, travel arrangements, accommodation, venue etc.

Your style: Pick an artist that will reflect your perfect proposal mood – do you want a small intimate occasion with the relaxed warmth of singer-guitarist, the big, fun surprise of a Mariachi band or vocal flash mob, a sophisticated string quartet to accompany your big Q, or a happy jazz band…? There’s so much to choose from, so think about what would suit you and your partner’s taste and emotion – as well as the logistics of concealing a surprise 22-piece jazz orchestra until your big moment!

Research your shortlisted artists: Check out their reviews, watch their promo vids and listen to their tracks online to be sure you’ve got the perfect music match for your perfect love match!

Music selection: This is perhaps the most important decision before you hire an artist for the proposal. Although most singers and musicians will happily tailor their music sets to suit your personalized requirements, it is always wise to select the artist that covers the kind of music you prefer for your proposal. Go with your heart, and pick tracks that are meaningful to you both. Given enough notice, many artists will even learn a new song for you, so you can really melt your intended’s heart!

Logistical arrangements: When hiring the perfect artist for your proposal, don’t forget to discuss the logistical details to ensure everything runs smoothly. Check if your band or musician will be carrying all the necessary equipment with them or whether you’ll need to rent it separately. Make sure you coordinate with the venue too. Check if they already have a decent PA sound system that your artist can use, or maybe they prefer to bring their own PA system etc. Make sure to speak about these things with your chosen band or singer when you’re arranging the booking.

Here's how to ensure that hiring an artist goes smoothly:

Depending on the venue, you must make sure to have an appropriate space for your musician or band to set up for the performance. Many are experienced at handling proposals in all kinds of spaces - even a proposal that took place on the London Eye!
Allow plenty of time for them to setup too – some will need an hour or more while others, like acoustic guitarists, can simply rock up and start serenading.
Some artists will require access to power sockets, so check this with them and your venue.
If you’re planning an outdoor proposal, you may need to arrange protection from the elements – from both the sun and the rain. Some – a harpist for example – will even need a special area on which to perform, so always check with your chosen artist.
Although an experienced wedding or proposal band or musician won’t have many limitations regarding the musical style and repertoire, it is wise that you provide any specific song requests to the musicians beforehand – we recommend a minimum of one month in advance.
Make sure you're booking in a secure way where your payments and consumer rights are protected, and always get a contract.
Communication is the key to success, so always speak to your artist in advance. You can finalise any song requests, discuss logistics, and ensure you’re both 100 per cent agreed about what you need on the day. This will enable them to provide you with the best, most memorable, and perfectly-timed soundtrack to your big Q-popping moment.

Check out Alive Network, where you can win a Top UK Wedding Band for your evening reception, and browse their lovely and interactive Ultimate Guide to Wedding Entertainment.

Popping the question

When it comes to proposing, couples are increasingly taking the more traditional, on-bended-knee approach.

In fact, nine out of 10 grooms proposed with the engagement ring in hand using the words: “Will you marry me?”

The majority of grooms (87 per cent) said they proposed on bended knee, up from 77 per cent in 2011.

And grooms are more frequently asking for the permission of their partner’s family than in years past, with 78 per cent seeking their support. So don’t forget that one.

Showing off your engagement ring with the perfect photo shoot

Once you have the ring, you will want to show it off and what better way to do that than with a secret engagement photo shoot. It can also prove to be a great opportunity to get to know your wedding photographer.

Photo by Alexandria Hall

We caught up with Alexandria Hall from AH Wedding Photography who provided us with some great tips. She’s a specialist when it comes to taking the perfect surprise engagement shots of your proposal.

Here are Alexandria’s top tips for the perfect photoshoot...

Suggest heading out for a nice meal. This way your partner knows to dress up nice and will ensure she feels good about the results of the images after. If you want to be super cool, buying something special like an amazing pair of shoes would go down a treat!
Plan to do the proposal somewhere open, picturesque ideally, but also somewhere your photographer can discreetly hide. Not too crowded, with a good line of sight for your photographer. Nothing worse than missing the moment because of crowds of people.
Propose if you can in the day, that way the photographer won’t need to use the flash and it will still seem a surprise. They will easily capture the fantastic reactions you want on the proposal too. It's not essential but a zoom lens works best in daylight. The perfect time is twilight if you want something WOW, as lighting is always beautiful anywhere this time of day. Night time is always romantic too, but you will get a different result at night so be sure to consider what results you want. Inside shots or outside? Also, using flash could make your fiancée feel a little paparazzi'd, so another thought to consider.
Make sure your photographer has good kit, a zoom lens, and if needs be a flash for night time proposals.

Once you are done with all these steps, you are all set to get down on one knee in front of the love of your life and ask for her hand in marriage.

You can prepare a question of your own rather than simply asking: “Will you marry me?” Make it sound sweet by praising her beauty and her love for you and win her heart for a happily ever after.

If you need more advice, we have a wedding planning tool to take the hard work out of the next stage of your journey. Simply complete the online form with your wedding requirements and you will be entered into our competition to win a fantastic honeymoon in Scotland worth over £1,600. We’ll immediately match you up with the best wedding suppliers so that they can come back to you with a quote.

Good luck gentlemen!